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woensdag 3 april 2024

Guest actors save Creeps from the Middle East´s new episode of utter boredom

We know some films can be boring, but when boring becomes a style, we have something eyebrow raising. Now ´Creeps of the Middle East´didn´t already promise much last time and I wonder why I keep torturing myself with watching two characters at the cemetery for 10, I repeat: 10 minutes, but this ´movie´is only watchable at the end of the day, laying in your bed, with beer, chips and cheap apple pie next to your bed, a bed that already hurts your back, and you hope to fall asleep but you can´t because you are mesmerized by this new episode of The Creeps.

If you even then, start trying to find out which cemetery it is, `is it in Berlin, in the west of Germany or in Paris`, then there is some coaching needed for the Creeps team. When a casting director, out of desperation, starts to act, trying to save the ´main character´s performance, you know it´s going to be a tough sit.

My dear friends and radio lovers, I know you are not too fond of video, film or anything visual, being already overwhelmed by the visual pulp thrown at you day by day, so I can´t ask you to have a look at this maybe most boring movie of the year. As I said boringness turns out to become an art form, with here and there a laugh or a strange grin appearing on my face, especially when mr Sina Khani shouts out ´Ouagadougou!´




Now , I happen to have visited that splendid, sandy town in Burkina Faso, stayed in the only 5 star hotel ´RAN´to keep the huzzlers away, also being protected by the King of Art himself, mr Papa Adama, nowadays roaming the streets of Amsterdam, if he survived at least the last winter in the Park in Amsterdam, selling his paintings. Yes, hearing Sina Khani, shout out Ouagadougou, I start to wonder, where the hell did he get that from? 

That can only be inspired by the King of Art himself. ´Putin!´, Khani even starts to shout at his sister, cousin or whoever it is bringing him his old paintings in a Volvo with a Dutch license plate, clearly in one of the outskirts of Berlin in the beginning of autumn. Did it take you so long to create this episode?

Sina Khani, you need another main character next to you (why not mr Papa Adama himself?) in which your humour and brilliance can shine, now there seems to be a void next to you, in almost every image you appear. Ok, I was warned, the announcement before the film of the suicidal thoughts of the main character should have me know better and even, mind you, the viewer is warned that we are going to watch...comedy! 

Are mr. Khani and his team afraid the Woke Thought pölice will come and haunt them? Or, even worse, mr. Putin sends one of his former commie death squads because you are messing with the great leader´s image? Take care, take care, when people like Putin, whether you call your former girl friend that, or the man himself, happens to turn his eye on the Creeps of the Middle East, he might die from ...boredom and by that mr Khani might do humanity even a favour...

In this episode the guest actors, a whole bunch of ladies, appearing to audition for the role of Sina´s girl friend, of which a black haired wild looking girl convinces the most, save the Creeps again on the edge. Bless them. But mr Khani really has to get some more pepper in his acting and use his stand up experience and become free again, like he was in art school at the age of 23. Hoppa!

The Inspector


Image Marie van der Pol , to be seen at the Lentesalon/ Sporing Salon of Kuiperdomingos Projects in Amsterdam, opening coming Friday in Amsterdam, Amstelkerk, Amstelveld 10, Amsterdam.

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