The Unsafe Election Night

WHERE: The Rise of the Unsafe House: The American Election WATCH PARTY, Amsterdam (NL)

DATE: 5 & 6 November, 2024.

LOVE: YES

The Unsafe Election Night

OMG, I think I was at the coolest place in Amsterdam, even if just for a few intense hours!

To be honest, I haven’t had this feeling in a long time.

Tuesday Night – Wednesday Morning, November 5th & 6th: Somewhere in a shady neighborhood near the famous Bajes—formerly an Amsterdam prison, where I gave a concert when I was 18, with the now-infamous Harm on piano.

Ok, forget the prison and harm—they’re history. The prison closed years ago, Harm moved to the countryside, and the place is now a kind of concentration camp for the underperforming creative class of Amsterdam, as I mentioned before.

But the Wenckebachweg? Sorry, I have to drop a hint for the culture police dogs, so they can catch a whiff of where this real creative scent is coming from. The Wenckebachlaan was the place to be that night. It’s a long street, though, and you’d need a strong nose to pick up the “art drops” sprinkled in the fresh autumn air of Amsterdam.

Enough rambling! I wanted to go incognito. I had a bit of an eye ache, so I wore these nighttime sunglasses to protect me from the ultra-bright film studio lights. But I took them off again because Mr. Sina Khani, the “Main Creep from the Middle East,” walked up and offered me a beer.

There was a strange mix of people in this “Unsafe House.” Mr. Khani seemed to be part of the place’s interior design—he could easily have posed for one of the creepy paintings by Mr. Tarik Sadouma himself, because we were in the domain of the informal “Night Mayor” (or should I say Nightmare) of Amsterdam.

The cast was impressive. As I’m always on the lookout for talent, I was thrilled by this concentration of inventiveness.

Steven Bos, also part of “The Creeps,” was hosting the event, sitting in a comfortable armchair from 1880, next to the couch where Mr. Sadouma reigned as the current “King of Art” in Amsterdam (sorry, Papa Adama, times are changing).

Steven Bos also invited Edo Blaauw to join on the couch, and, man, he became my favorite comedian of the night—even when he was rooting for Kamala Harris as his favorite presidential candidate.

That’s why we were there, in the end—the American Election Night had come to Amsterdam, to the Unsafe House. Edo Blaauw tried to poll the room to see how many were pro-Kamala, but not many wanted to back her, even before her defeat—maybe a sign of things to come.

Earlier today, I watched a very funny AI video of a cursing Kamala and Trump putting everyone down even ruder than he does in reality. Will future presidential candidates be as crudely Bronx-slanged as I saw on that Twitch channel? I missed the “real” election night in the USA because what was happening on the couch was far more exciting. Honestly, I forgot about Trump and Kamala right away.

Sina Khani opened, after a few jokes—though he still claims not to be funny and just a “Sina Songwriter”—with “Let’s Not Hate the Americans” on guitar. The song was almost forgotten by Khani himself, but it’s still a famous underground anthem. I even wrote another song inspired by it during those surreal COVID months in 2020.

Then, things moved quickly. Sadouma leapt off the couch as new guests took his place. Salima El Muslima, whom I’d seen before, brought an award sculpture and began “canceling” a Dutch artist she accused of mistreating her. I had heard his name before, Himmelbach, but apparently, he hadn’t left much of an impression on me. Salima accused Himmelbach of threatening her Ukrainian friend Jelena, who suffers from psychosis, and of manipulating her into stealing the award sculpture he made, only to pressure her to give it back under threat of calling the police. Jelena almost relapsed into psychosis, triggering her trauma. “These fake artists,” Salima said, “offering a woke award only to demand it back, are all about subsidy money. That’s what art is about these days: money!”

Another woman, Sharkurtala,  took a seat on the couch (this is starting to sound very Freudian) and launched into a tirade against Steven Ruitenbeek (from KIRAC), “who nominated a racist for the award.” The atmosphere in the Unsafe “Garage” turned decidedly feminist. Himmelbach and Ruitenbeek “blocked her,” and she responded, “You can talk to my lawyer later!” (The crowd cheered.)

Younes Bouadi showed up, a former campaigner in the US and now a consultant in the Netherlands. He started his career in 2004, working for a voting activation program to increase voter turnout. “You can only do this by pretending to care and be interested,” he said. Edo Blaauw jumped in: “Do you really care?”

The discussion took a more serious turn until Sina Khani asked the audience, “Who wants to see my penis?” Steven Bos ordered him and Blaauw off the stage. Blaauw refused to surrender the mic, but Bos finally succeeded, and he invited Salima El Musalima, Amsterdam’s first female imam!

During the break, Sina Khani came up to me while I was streaming the entire event on the Radio Neverno Instagram and apologized LIVE to the audience for making “racist remarks—it’s a comedy show!”

I got a strong Moscow Mule (vodka, ginger beer, lemon, gin) and got tipsy. After the break, they asked me to join them on the couch myself, but that’s another story…

Creeps in the Unsafe House

It took me almost a week to process the latest episode of *Creeps from the Middle East*. In the dark cellars of *The Unsafe House*, a few yards away from the former largest prison in Amsterdam, the ´Bajes´, now turned into a ´creative breeding place´ (a Dutch euphemism for a heavily subsidized work camp for underperforming wannabe artists), it´s not a particularly inviting setting to witness the next farce in the *Creeps from the Middle East* saga.

Photo: The Unsafe House with Tarik Sadouma in front of the film screen

For our readers not familiar with the Creeps, its main character is the former, failed painter, Mr. Sina Karim Khani (although he wisely deleted the "Karim" part for unknown reasons), who is also one of the three directors of the "live long project". Khani intends to make episodes until his physical death. Having seen the previous episodes, I would almost consider sending a hit squad to end this tragedy for the man, who apparently sees this as his last chance to have something like a creative career. However, I prefer to see him and his team continue struggling to create something that ressembles an interesting narrative approaching the concept of a film.

Photo: Sina Khani with Tunc Topcuoglu, Sohrab Bayat and some unidentifiable characters

Of all places, the Creeps end up, in this far-out shack, called *The Unsafe House*, run by former Kirac member Tarik Sadouma. As a kind of "high priest" he welcoms visitors into his kingdom for the preview of *Creeps*, episode 4, and his own film, surrounded by a selection of stand-ups including Edo Blaauw and Salima El Musalima (who both starred, by the way).

As soon as you enter the garage (it´s nothing more than a garage, stuffed with old couches, shimmering lamps, a bar with a tattooed girl working hard, and a lot of paintings) you become aware of some imminent danger. You don´t know what to expect, but it doesn´t seem to be good.

Photo: Sina Khani with Kirac actress Jini Jane

I went completely incognito, my credentials were not even checked. I saw one of the founders of Radio Neverno walking around in a ridiculously wannabe business suit with a light green tie, pretending not to know me and shooing me away as he continuously chatted with the Creeps in-crowd that he seemed to know, for whatever reason.

Two films were shown. First *The Creeps*, in which Sadouma now appears as a contributing actor and even member of the creative team. I have to say, Sadouma has the qualities to "contra star" against the rather bleak acting performances of Sina Khani. Suddenly, *The Creeps* seems to become a real movie sequence adhering to film theory, which posits that you need a main character and a opposite one, at least in so-called ´narrative film´. This opposite character needs to be as strong as the main character to create a challenging dialogue, in images or narrative or both, to keep the viewer engaged in an unfolding story.

Photo: Still of a scene with mr Sina Khani in a train discussing life and latest breaking news

Bless mr. Sadouma, he saved *The Creeps*, from ´utter boredom´, as written in a former review here.

For a video impression, check *Art Tours Amsterdam* on Instagram, to understand what we are talking about. Check it out (link below)!

The whole night featured a stand-up program with Edo Blaauw, Salima El-Musalima, John Pelech, John Kefentse, Joel, and "comedian" Sina Khani himself opening, despite claiming "not to be funny". Next to a huge Sadouma created painting of Michel Houellebecq, Khani fulminated for 15 minutes on his latest frustrations, often interrupted by Sadouma himself sitting on a couch in the limelight. "I heard of a dangerous place, a whorehouse, full of pimps and criminals, a crack house, illegal immigrants, innocent people getting beaten up in the backroom, rapists on horse and Thierry Baudet", Khani ranted about The Unsafe House.

"Tarik, you are a beautiful person, but people ask me, what do you see in Tarik? His work ethic, his generosity, he helps you solve problems, he creates" Khani continues as the crowd cheered. "Like Khadaffi", Sadouma added into his microphone, "Tarik is so patient, whenever I have a problem, he lends me an open ear, he even lends me his paintings, Tarik is paranoid, but in a good way!"

After this, the latest episode of *The Creeps from The middle East* which was shown for a selection of "invitees" and some incognitos, I have to conclude, that it was by far the best one even if I might be fired by the Radio Neverno Team now.

Photo: The surroundings of the Unsafe House

The second movie, was a creation of *The Unsafe House* team itself, apparently by director mr. Sadouma himself. As I am a critic of the Dutch politicized "Culture Industry", that claims to be permanently fit for subsidization by nepotistic culture czars, distributing tax payers money to their "artists" or better "friends" by shady committees, *The Unsafe House* seems to be an exception to the rule, I hope.

Before stating more about the second movie of the night, which I really liked, maybe because of Sina Khani NOT being in it: please never enter the subsidy abyss awaiting you by the so called "generous culture politicians". Otherwise one day you will be blamed to have collaborated with the current ultra right ´PVV´ government (on which Sadouma fulminates at the end of the night in a passionate speech) that aims to centralize all culture to create its own image and annihilating everything oppositional by first luring artists in the ´subsidy abyss´ before killing them off.

Maybe Sadouma is clever enough to arrange private investors, like Philip van den Hurk is to the Kirac Team. But: don´t make this kind of van den Hurk person to a character in your own movie, it will kill the spirit, I have seen the current Kirac Team struggling with this man in their latest episodes. Khani mentioned van den Hurk´s description of his Creeps, "Creeps of the Middle Class", which says enough.

The second movie by and in the Unsafe House, had depth, showing Sadouma working as a painter commenting  on Picasso and others and sampling parts of critics like "Paul-talk", a wannabe youtuber art specialist commenting on art, mainly painting, but even commenting *The Creeps* in one of his episodes. Next to the strong story line, we could see , for me the first time, a very appealing AI generated, animation, a celebration of his love for his lady. This movie was a good example for the Creeps team to improve the level of its episodes even more. They should keep on working with mr. Tarik Sadouma.

Photo: The dark night falling on Khani and his companions

Go and witness some secret recordings of the night at instagram.com/art_tours_Amsterdam 

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