It could not be worse! Worst episode ever.
Creeps from the Middle East, episode 2, part 2. ‘The Tears of Sina Khani’. The long time between the publication of the episodes makes it impossible to keep up with the story line, if there was any in the first place. Of course it’s charming to witness the creative process “in the making”, but it irritates. And not in a fun David Lynch confusing way. But in a Sina Khani insults his audience without any reason why way. From the previous episode I remember a suicidal sister, a gay pimp, a ratty dog, a trip to Berlin in a cheap Renault Twingo, a club scene, a little boy dressed as a bossy girl, a bed scene with a lame book instead of hot sex, a Freudian mother and a musician buddy who interrupted the story line JUST when it was getting a hint of a flow. That’s what we call an edit fail, a concept misery, a proof of artistic weakness.
The ‘Aha effect’ is lacking, and so my hope of a good watch.
Instead of following up on those mildly promising plot elements we see see Adelheid Roosen sleeping. Come on, guys. You have a once in a lifetime chance to work with such a legend, and you let her speak out a lullaby? Not even sing it? Make use of your cast!
We involuntarily witness an insider scene of Sina Khani being on Michiel Lieuwma’s Open Geesten podcast, where they chat about Star Wars and Werner Herzog. Wait, did I get it right? Did Michiel Lieuwma just compare himself to George Lucas. Oh Lord. Pathetic. But then, the first and last interesting moment: Sina Khani slaps his ass. OK, not bad. I like that.
Talking about asses. Mohsen Namjoo. This guy is a toxic narcissist BUT a genius musician. I saw him perform in De Stadschouwburg in front of the Queen of Holland. She had tears in her eyes. Real ones. Not fake ones like you, Sina Khani. You cast him as film critique. No one cares. Use him for what he’s good at. Singing like a mentally challenged Persian shepherd or one of his sheeps but with Down Syndrome.
You imitate Stefan Ruitenbeek from “Keeping It Real Art Critics” (KIRAC) probably because he is in a meningitis coma that is as artificial as his talent for framing and cinematography
You cast exterminator Tarik Sadouma, who obviously doesn’t want to collaborate with cockroaches anymore… and now he found you, Sina Khani. The OFFICIAL parasite of the Amsterdam art scene. Luckily he roasts the heck out of you. But what is the casting he talks about? Who is Fleur? Who is the fucking pigeon from Azerbaijan? A few more unanswered questions for the viewer. Luckily no one cares about them. Well done, Team Creeps.
And I want to see Sohrab Bayat as the asshole Sohrab Bayat IS, not as an impression of yourself. Take off your silly wig and shove that stick that you pulled out of your butt back in. Because you can only wish that Jini van Rooijen aka Jini Jane will touch you. Don’t you ever put her name in your mouth again! You are even less attractive than Sid Lukassen or Michel Houellebecq. At least they got to make out with that swine. Or that other turkey, if you know who I mean. Isa Moleman or something
Good night and sweet dreams.
PS: The voice of reason sounds like a lame art school teacher who repeats the same lines over and over every year.
See it above or direct via
Link to YOUTUBE
